


She Gives Me Strength

by VividDayDreamer



Series: Fall Into My Arms.  I've Got You. [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp sort of, Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor Friendship, And Gets it From Alex, Angst, Don’t copy to another site, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Has Issues With Trust...Again, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lex's Betrayal Breaks Lena, Or Can Be Seen as Early Alex & Lena Relationship, Song Based, Standing in the rain, lena doubts herself, post 4x17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 16:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18391859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividDayDreamer/pseuds/VividDayDreamer
Summary: (Happens right after 4x17)After the incident with Lex, after Eve, after the Supergirl clone, Lena finds herself blaming everything on her own lack of judgement as she falls into Lex's hands.  She starts to doubt everything about herself, and those around her.  And when she nearly hits rock bottom in her mind, Alex is there to catch her.





	She Gives Me Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this on a whim, as I listened to the the song play on repeat several times.
> 
> Inspired on the song, "Stand in the Rain" by Superchick
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Trust and betrayal. They were constant things that had vexed her her entire life. Being betrayed, led to lack of trust. Lack of trust, led to lack of meaningful relationships. But, when she tempted fate to trust again, she ended up being betrayed once more. It was an endless cycle that she longed to break, but with every opportunity blowing up in her face, she began to feel that trust, was something that was not meant for her to have; including all the benefits that stemmed from it.

The latest incident with her brother brought that truth to light even more. And, it was that incident that broke Lena. She had thought of herself stronger by now, since with every backward step, she found herself moving two steps forward. However, with Lex, he threw Lena so far back, that she had completely lost herself, doubting everything she is, everything she was, and everything she'd done. That manipulation cut her so deep, and it only hurt more, coming from someone she had once loved and admired.

She was trying to hide these personal issues from Supergirl and Alex; the only two people she now associated herself with. Their teaming up proved to be effective thus far, and she knew that she had to do her part in order to resolve the mess that her brother had left behind.

  
  
_She never slows down._  
_She doesn't know why,_  
_But she knows that when she's_  
_All alone,_  
_Feels like its all_  
_Coming down_

  
She continued working at the DEO for hours on end, as she rummaged through everything they had with regards to any anomalies and data they'd gathered, hoping that they may have some insight as to the full story behind Lex's recent mission and objectives.

Lena was sitting in the lab, analyzing some of the remnants from the White House incident that the DEO had procured, hoping that there would be some evidence or clue as to who the Supergirl clone was, or is. She was so focused, that she barely registered the presence of another person entering the room.

"Hey," called out a soft voice from behind her.

When she didn't respond, Alex placed a hot cup of coffee right next to her, startling Lena momentarily.

"Oh, Alex. Thank you," she said, as she put down the piece of fragmented debris that she was inspecting, to pick up the drink.

Alex watched her with concern.

"Any luck?"

"The charred markings definitely indicate that it had come in contact with a very hot and focused heat source..."

"Supergirl's heat vision..." the Director said, filling in the blanks.

Lena nodded. "It's exactly the same. The temperature needed to make these kind of markings in such a precise way...it's identical to the power that Supergirl has," she said as she sighed.

Alex could tell that Lena was frustrated and beyond exhausted.

"Lena, you've been studying those artifacts and video surveillance footage for days now. You really need some rest."

"We can't afford to. Supergirl Two is out there, running around with Eve _and_ Lex, and we don't know what they're up to. They can strike at any moment, and we have no leads," she says with exasperation, as she places the cup down, then pinches the bridge of her nose; an intense headache was making itself known.

Alex softly takes Lena by her elbow and turns her around. She cups Lena's cheeks, having her stare at her, eye-to-eye.

"There's always going to be aliens, and villains, and...evil brothers out there," she jokes. "And we never know exactly what they're up to, or when they'll hit. We're always on red alert, Lena. That's what the DEO is all about. And you...," she says as she tucks some of the woman's hair behind her ear. "You're an important part of our mission. You can't run on fumes. You're much more effective after some hours of rest," Alex finishes as she shifts away from her.

Lena sighs, wanting to argue the thought, but she knows how hard she's been working these past few days, and she won't admit it, but sleep did sound like a good idea. After a bout of silence, Alex continued.

"You know I'm right," she says, shifting her stance so that her hands were on her hips, emanating a commanding posture.

The mocked posture made Lena chuckle slightly. It brought a smile to Alex's face, and she relaxed her stance.

"I'm your friend, Lena. We both have a job to do here, but we need to take care of each other too."

Lena smiled cautiously. She believed Alex's intentions, at least for now. The Director, as of late, has been the only one left she had felt comfortable turning to, and who so far, has always had a good track record of being honest and determined; values that Lena believed in. However, she has yet to admit to herself that Alex could be trusted. It wasn't anything the redhead did in particular to warrant Lena's doubts, it was just a scar; a remembrance of everything else that had burned her when she'd allowed them to get too close.

"Come on. I'll drive you home. You'll get some rest. Then tomorrow, I'll come pick you up in the morning, and we can grab breakfast, then head into the office together, then look at all this stuff with fresh eyes."

Lena hesitated. She stole a glance back at the computer screen she was looking over, then darted her gaze to the remaining chunks of rock and plaster that she hadn't gone over yet. Alex noticed her apprehension.

"Hey, workaholic," she teased. "It'll all be here in the morning. I promise."

Lena stared into the DEO Director's face.

"Alex...How can you be so relaxed about all this. Lex is a _major_ threat, not just to National City or the White House, but potentially our entire planet."

"You gotta take things in stride Lena. The _entire_ department _and_ Supergirl _and_ you, are working on this. We're using up every resource we have, and we have to believe that we will figure this out eventually. And, as Director, I'm stressing the importance of rest. Not just to you, but for everyone. In order to have peak efficiency, my people need to be awake and alert. As do you," she said, pursing her lips and giving her a knowing look.

Lena nodded, respected her friend's concern, and finally accepted Alex's offer and reasoning.

"You're right," she finally says, relenting to the idea of stopping her research.

"I know I am," the redhead joked. "That's why I'm the Director," she said as she smiled.

Lena appreciated how Alex always seemed to find the right things to say. Even the little bits of humor helped her to relax.

They picked up their belongings, made their way into Alex's car, then drove through town. As late in the day as it was, traffic was of no consequence, and they made it to Lena's building in a little over 30 minutes. Lena sat in the car, dazed, not even realizing that they had arrived, until Alex had come around and opened her door.

"You okay?"

Lena just nodded, and plastered on her fake smile, hiding her thoughts and apprehensions. Alex knew that Lena had been struggling, so she tried to do her best to support her friend. Ever since the mind wipe (of which Alex still knew nothing about), she found herself struggling to connect to all those that were once close to her: her sister, J'onn, James, even Sam. The only real connection she felt, was with Lena. It was odd, and she couldn't quite describe it, but she felt like Lena was the only one not lying to her or holding something back, and for that, Alex was grateful. Their relationship felt real, and she held onto it, knowing nothing, nor anyone, had come close.

Alex walked the CEO up to her condo, keeping her company as she settled in. As she saw Lena start to get accustomed to her surroundings, she opted to take her leave.

"I should probably leave you to get some R&R. I'll come back in the morning and pick you up. Okay?"

Lena had been in the process of pouring herself a glass of red wine, when she heard Alex speak up. She wanted her to stay and keep her company for a bit longer, but the thoughts of mistrusting her friend, made their interaction a bit more cumbersome these days. After a short moment, she turned back to Alex and mocked a toast in the air.

"I'll see you in the morning, Alex. Thank you. For everything."

"That's what friends are for, right?" the Director said, smiling in her direction.

Lena smiled again, and nodded before taking a sip of her drink.

"Goodnight, Lena."

"Goodnight, Alex."

The Director left Lena, making sure the door was latched behind her. When her friend had gone, all that was left was the cold, sterile feeling of her apartment.

  
_She won't turn around_  
_The shadows are long and she fears_  
_If she cries_  
_That first tear,_  
_The tears will not stop_  
_Raining down_

  
  
She made her way over to the livingroom, and her eyes caught onto a picture frame that was faced down on the mantle. She stared at it, knowing full well what the photo was of, and why she had laid it down to begin with. She took a heavy sip of her glass, and decided to pick the frame up. It was an old photo of her and Lex as kids.

It was the only casual photo she had of them both. It was a fluke shot that the photographer had taken, after they had finished doing their formal sitting and family portrait. Lena had poked at Lex, and he in turn had tried to grab her in a bear hug. They both sported large, genuine smiles.

Now, thinking about their long lost relationship, and how their innocence had all but disappeared, left her empty. He was the only other family member she considered to be close to; after losing her birth mother, and after Lionel had died. But now, the once happy memory of her brother, had been replaced by deception, anger, hatred, embarrassment and sadness. She choked down her emotions, steeling herself as she placed the frame back down the mantle, faced down once more.

  
_So stand in the rain_  
_Stand your ground_  
_Stand up when it's all crashing down_  
_You stand through the pain_  
_You won't drown_  
_And one day, what's lost can be found_  
_You stand in the rain_

  
Lena took a deep breath, and downed the rest of her wine. She then took the bottle and filled her glass once more. After placing the bottle back down onto the coffee table, she decided to get some fresh air. Sliding open the glass door to her balcony, she felt the chill in the air, and the splatter of rain coming down. Despite the weather, she calmly walked onto the concrete space. With each step, she felt the cold, wet ground beneath her bare feet. She took another deep breath. The rain continued to pour, mixing into her wine glass, and soaking Lena from head to toe. She welcomed the desolate feeling; bracing herself against the cold, and stood firm and unrelenting. Tonight, she'd soak it all in, and allow herself a moment to feel. Just...feel.

The constant tapping of raindrops on her head, and on her face as she looked up, was a reminder that she was still there, and that she was still alive. And while those two facts were true, she knew that she could still make a difference. Alex was right. Lena was a force to be reckoned with. She _can_ fight this. She _can_ fix this. She _will_ fix this. She is, a Luthor, after all.

  
_She won't make a sound_  
_Alone in this fight with herself and the fears_  
_Whispering_  
_If she stands_  
_She'll fall down_

  
  
She remained standing alone, in the dark, as the rain pounded on her harder and harder. After a while, the drops of rain started to beat down stronger; an angered force of nature from the skies above that seemed to be infuriated by Lena's defiance. The impact of the rain on her skin, echoed inside her, reminding her of the unsteadiness of her resolve, and how vulnerable and fragile she was under the surface.

  
_She wants to be found_  
_The only way out is through everything she's_  
_Running from_  
_Wants to give up_  
_And lie down_

  
She thinks, it's so easy. So easy to give up now if she wanted. As the rain, continued to beat down on her, it reminded her of the constant barrage of mistrusted relationships and betrayals that tear at her heart, ruining her life, over and over again. And when she wallows in this idea, it suddenly causes her feel tired and weak.

"It would be better for the world, perhaps, if I weren't around...," she briefly thought to herself.

As she allowed those words to sink in for a moment, she slowly bowed her head to the ground, defeated; no longer feeling inspired, nor motivated to fight.

"I'm nothing, but a tool for people to use...," she says out loud, and as those words leave her lips, the tears began to fall.

Caught up in that moment, she once more, didn't notice the sound of someone entering her home. It wasn't until she felt herself being enveloped in soft cotton fabric, with a hood thrown on top of her head, and arms surrounding her from behind in a tight embrace. By her ear, she hears this person's words:

"You're never nothing, Lena. You're everything. You're everything this world needs, and more."

She swallowed hard, as tears flowed freely down her face, mixing in with the wetness of the rain.

"Alex....," she whimpered.

"It's okay, Lena. I got you," she said, holding her even tighter, as the woman dropped her head onto Lena's shoulder. "I had a feeling that you were more upset than you had been recently. I turned around and came back to see you."

They stood there for a moment, with the rain continuing to beat down, on them both.

  
_So stand in the rain_  
_Stand your ground_  
_Stand up when it's all crashing down_  
_You stand through the pain_  
_You won't drown_  
_And one day, what's lost can be found_  
_You stand in the rain_

  
Lena fell silent. She marvelled at how Alex always seemed to know what she needed, even without expressing any words. She leaned back into the woman's chest, allowing herself to feel the comfort of Alex's strength, bracing her. And with that single act, it gave Lena the will to move on again and get through this. So with that, she let hope fill her once more. Perhaps Alex could be the one to earn her trust this time. With Alex by her side, she knew she could get through this; that _they_ could get through this. Together.

 

**Author's Note:**

> When the world beats down on you, know that the strength just lies within you to make it through. You don't always see it, or feel it, but it's there. You just need to believe that you're better than that. Sometimes, all we need is just a friend to see it, but it's there. Stay strong fam. Be strong like Lena.
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> Find me on [Tumblr](https://dreamsescapeus.tumblr.com/)
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End file.
